ekanas

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when the wind whistle through the silent home and the windows creek with antisipation a figure will appear.  you'll never know who.  you'll never see their face.  some have even say it's because you will become psycotic with envy when you see the beauty that none will posess except this person.  if you saw what should never be seen a rabit beast would come alive inside of you and one of two things will happen.  anger will have splintered the core until you become a murderous animal, just waiting for the right moment to strike your victum down.  or you will dread the moment, feel blinded by beauty that will never be seen again until you've driven yourself over the edge and will eventually pull the fatal triger just to be rid of the empty feeling
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I've obsessed recently with quotes from movies and tv lately, meaning like 20 seconds ago. now 30.


Monty Python and the Holy Grail-

Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot

Minstrel: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away...
Sir Robin: *No!*
Minstrel: [singing] bravely ran away away...
Sir Robin: *I didn't!*
Minstrel: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Sir Robin: *I never did!*
Minstrel: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Sir Robin: *Oh, you liars!*
Minstrel: [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.

God: What are you doing now?
King Arthur: Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
God: Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing. Now knock it off!

King of Swamp Castle: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.

King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?

King Arthur: One, two, five!
Sir Galahad: Three sir!
King Arthur: THREE!

Prince Herbert: But mother,
King of Swamp Castle: Father, I'm father.
Prince Herbert: But father...

The Witch: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Sir Bedevere: But you are dressed as one
The Witch: *They* dressed me up like this!
Crowd: We didn't! We didn't...
The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Sir Bedevere: [lifts up her false nose] Well?
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose.
Sir Bedevere: The nose?
Peasant 1: And the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah! Burn her! Burn her!
Sir Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 3: No!
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 1: Yes!
Peasant 2: Yes!
Peasant 1: Yeah a bit.
Peasant 3: A bit!
Peasant 1, Peasant 2: A bit!
Peasant 2: a bit
Peasant 1: But she has got a wart!
Random Person in the crowd: *cough* *cough*

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.

Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
King Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

[the King gestures to the window]
King of Swamp Castle: One day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King of Swamp Castle: No, not the curtains, lad, all that you can see stretched out over the valleys and the hills! That'll be your kingdom, lad.

King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

Sir Lancelot: Look, my liege!
[trumpets play a fanfare as the camera cuts briefly to the sight of a majestic castle]
King Arthur: [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Galahad: [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Lancelot: [in awe] Camelot!
Patsy: [derisively] It's only a model!
King Arthur: Shh!

King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

[the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]
Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
King Arthur: ...You're a loony.

Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Galahad: Well, I could stay a bit longer...

Knight 1: We are the Knights who say... NI.

King Arthur: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.
[the Knights of Ni scream and cover their ears]
Knight 1: Don't say that word!
King Arthur: What word?
Knight 1: I cannot tell! Suffice to say, is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear!
King Arthur: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?
[the Knights of Ni scream again]
Knight 1: He said it again!
King Arthur: What,"is"?
Knight 1: No, no, not "is". Wouldn't get very far in life not saying "is".

King Arthur: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[the Black Knight doesn't respond]
King Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[no response]
King Arthur: I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.
[no response]
King Arthur: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[no response]
King Arthur: You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy!
[attempts to get around the Black Knight]
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass!
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
King Arthur: So be it!
[they fight until Arthur cuts off Black Knight's left arm]
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No, it isn't!
King Arthur: Well, what's that then?
King Arthur: I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
[they fight again. Arthur cuts off the Knight's right arm]
King Arthur: Victory is mine!
[kneels to pray]
King Arthur: We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -
[cut off by the Knight kicking him]
Black Knight: Come on, then.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!

Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.

Tim: Follow. But. Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
King Arthur: What an eccentric performance.

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

King Arthur: Can we come up and have a look?
French Soldier: Of course not. You're English types.
King Arthur: What are you then?
French Soldier: I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?
Sir Galahad: What are you doing in England?
French Soldier: Mind your own business.

King of Swamp Castle: You only killed the bride's father, you know.
Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
King of Swamp Castle: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.
Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

Sir Lancelot: [Bursts into the Prince's room and kneels before him after killing the guards] Oh, fair one, behold, I am you humble servant Sir Launcelot. I have come to take
[looks up and realizes that he is kneeling before an effeminate Prince, not a Princess]
Sir Lancelot: Oh, I'm terribly sorry!
Prince Herbert: You got my note!
Sir Lancelot: Uh, well, I got a note.
Prince Herbert: You've come to rescue me! I knew someone would! I knew that somewhere out there, there must be someone who
[Music swells]
King of Swamp Castle: Stop that! Stop it! Stop it!
[Music stops]
King of Swamp Castle: Who are you?
Prince Herbert: I'm your son!
King of Swamp Castle: No, not you!
Sir Lancelot: I am Sir Launcelot, sir.
Prince Herbert: He's come to rescue me, father!
Sir Lancelot: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
King of Swamp Castle: Did you kill all those guards?
Sir Lancelot: Um... oh, yes! Sorry.
King of Swamp Castle: They cost fifty pounds each!
Sir Lancelot: Well, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
King of Swamp Castle: Well, I can understand that.

[King Arthur has just cut the Black Knight's last leg off]
Black Knight: All right, we'll call it a draw.
King Arthur: [Preparing to leave] Come, Patsy.
[King Arthur and Patsy ride off]
Black Knight: [calling after King Arthur] Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

King Arthur: Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder?
Tim: There are some who call me... Tim.

[Concorde has just been shot in the chest with an arrow bearing a message]
Concorde: Message for you, sir.

Tim: There he is!
King Arthur: Where?
Tim: There!
King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim: It *is* the rabbit!
King Arthur: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!
King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

[after Bors is killed by the killer rabbit]
Tim: I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?

King Arthur: [about the inscription on the rock] What does it say, Brother Maynard?
Brother Maynard: It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh... "
King Arthur: What?
Brother Maynard: "The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh"
Sir Bedevere: What is that?
Brother Maynard: He must have died while carving it.
King Arthur: Oh come on!
Brother Maynard: Well, that's what it says.
King Arthur: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.
Sir Galahad: Maybe he was dictating it.
King Arthur: Oh shut up!
Sir Robin: Well does it say anything else?
Brother Maynard: No, just "Aaaaauuuugggghhh".
[knights making groaning sounds]
Sir Bedevere: Do you think he could have mean, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?
Sir Galahad: Where's that?
Sir Bedevere: France, I think.
Sir Lancelot: Isn't there a Saint "Aaaaavvvveeeesss" in Cornwall?
King Arthur: No that's Saint "Ives".
Sir Lancelot: Oh, yes. "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"!
[All knights saying, "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"]
Sir Bedevere: Whooooouuuuaaa!
Sir Lancelot: No no no, it's "Aaaaauuuugggghhhh" from the back of the throat.
Sir Bedevere: No I mean, "Whoooouuuuaaa!" as in surprise and alarm.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, you mean like, "AAAHH!"
Sir Bedevere: Yes, that's it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

[the cartoon Knights are being chased by the animated Beast of Aaaaauuuugggggghhh]
Narrator: And as the Black Beast lurched forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack!
[cut to the animator shown cringing]
Animator: Ughck!
[falls backwards in his chair]
Narrator: [back to the cartoon] The cartoon peril was no more.
[Beast of Aaaaauuuugggggghhh disappears]
Narrator: The quest for the Holy Grail could continue.

Wedding Guest: Look! The dead prince!
Concorde: He's not quite dead.
Prince Herbert: Oh, I feel much better.
King of Swamp Castle: You fell out of the tall tower, you creep!
Prince Herbert: I was saved at the last minute.
King of Swamp Castle: How?
Prince Herbert: Well, I'll tell you.
[music begins playing, the townspeople begin dancing and singing, "He's going to tell, he's going to tell!"]
King of Swamp Castle: Not like that, not like that! No! Stop it! Nooo!

[last lines]
King Arthur: [Arthur and Bedevere have found out that the Holy Grail is in Castle Augh, which is guarded by the frenchmen] We shall attack at once.
Sir Bedevere: Yes, my liege.
[an army of hundreds of soldiers appears]
King Arthur: [to Castle Augh] French persons, today the blood of many a brave knight shall be avenged! In the name of God, we shall not stop our fight till every one of you lies dead, and the Holy Grail returns to those who God Himself has chosen!
[turns to army]
King Arthur: Charge!
[the army charges forward, but is stopped by the police and the historian's wife]
Historian's Wife: [points to Arthur] It's that one, I'm sure!
[the police arrest Arthur and Bedevere]
Policeman: [turns to cameraman] All right, sonny, that's enough, just take off.
[turns off camera]

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?
King Arthur: I'm not interested!
Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: It could be carried by an African swallow.
King Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Oh yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: But then the African swallow's not migratory...

Narrator: A year passed: winter changed into spring, spring changed into summer, summer changed back into winter, and winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn... until one day...

Sir Galahad: Zoot!
Dingo: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
[He tried to get past her]
Dingo: Where are you going?
Sir Galahad: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
Dingo: Oh, no! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
Sir Galahad: What is it?
Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Sir Galahad: It's not the real Grail?
Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!
[Turns to camera]
Dingo: Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad! It's better than some of the previous scenes I think.
Left Head: At least ours was better visually.
Dennis: At least ours was committed, it wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.
Bridgekeeper: Get on with it.
Tim: Yes! Get on with it!
Army: Yeah! Get on with it!
Dingo: Oh, I am enjoying this scene!
God: Get on with it!


Supernatural

[Dean falls on top of Sam as they sneak through a half open window]
Dean Winchester: Oh, sorry!
Sam Winchester: OK, be quiet.
Dean Winchester: Me be quiet? You be quiet!

Dean Winchester: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

Sam Winchester: Dean, there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted.
Dean Winchester: You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their ass!
Sam Winchester: Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?

Dean Winchester: [Looking at the haunted hotel] We might even run into Fred and Daphne inside. Mmmm... Daphne. Love her.

Dean Winchester: Come on man. I know Sam, ok? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean the guy feels guilty searching the internet for porn.

Dean Winchester: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

Dean Winchester: [Sam points to a word carved into a telephone pole] Croatoan?
Sam Winchester: Yeah.
[Dean stares blankly]
Sam Winchester: Roanoke... lost colony... ring a bell? Dean, did you pay any attention in history class?
Dean Winchester: Yeah. Shot heard 'round the world, how bills become laws...
Sam Winchester: That's not school; that's schoolhouse rock!

Dean Winchester: Ya' know she could be faking.
Sam Winchester: Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?
[Dean nods]
Sam Winchester: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick?

Dean Winchester: Damn cops.
Sam Winchester: They were just doing their job.
Dean Winchester: No, they were doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it.

Dean Winchester: [after a nice cop says okie dokie] I like him, he says okie dokie.

Sam Winchester: Why'd you let me fall asleep?
Dean Winchester: Because I am an awesome brother. What did you dream about?
Sam Winchester: Lollipops and candycanes.

Sam Winchester: Well, before we go stabbing things into Cooper, we're gonna wanna make damn sure it's him.
Dean Winchester: You're such a stickler for details, Sammy.

Bobby: Idgits

Bobby: What's it matter, I'm still stuck in eternal friggen sunshine.

Dean: Bobby, will you please tell Sam that Chuck Norris could kick Jet Li's ass.

Dean: Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating "Dick?" I thought he was just being general

Dean: If I wasn't so chill right now, I'd puke

Bobby: Damn thing's eating Rick.
Dean: Damn, I liked Rick.

Bobby: You don't shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi's mother.

Bobby: What the hell is a "glamper?"
Dean: Sam?
Sam: High end camper. TV. AC. Wi-fi. Back to nature. Zero inconvenience.

Dean: We're on our third "the world is screwed" issue in what three years?

Dean: I think it's reasonable to want to know that you're off the freaking high dive, Sam. You almost got us both killed. So you can be pissed all you want, but quit being a bitch

Dean: Ugh, I can't believe he was boning her

Jimmy Tomorrow: You're looking... for something.
Dean: You're good.

Dean: It's kind of like, Bewitched, you know? Don's Darren and doesn't even know it. Lot of laughs until you cheat on your wife.
Sam: Bewitched reference. Really?
Dean: Dude, Nicole Kidman was in the remake. Red head. Hello.

Don: She bakes cupcakes.
Dean: Yummy.

Sam: Really? From a freaking flask? What are you Bad Santa? On the job?
Dean: We're always on the job.

Leviathan: Everything is better with cheese

Dean: New rule. You steal my baby, you get punched

Sam: Oh, Dean. I have a question. How do you talk to girls?

Lucifer: You know, I really think Prince William has found the right girl. What do you think?

Bobby: Course, if at any time you want to decide that's utter horse crap, I'll be where I always am. Right here.
Dean: What? Do you want to do couples yoga or get back to hunting the Big Bads?
Bobby: Shut up. Idgit

Lucifer: You're my bunk mate buddy. You're my little bitch in every sense of the term

Lucifer: Hi Sam. Long time no spooning

Dean: You know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole. I'm gonna drink. And I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is.

Crowley: What do you think he's going to do when he finds out we've been conspiring? You do want to conspire don't you?
Bobby: No, we want you to just stand there and look pretty.

News Reporter: The FBI believes the Ku Klux Klan has been forced to disbanded.
Dean: Can't argue with that one

Woman on TV: We all saw him. No beard. No robe. He was young and, and, sexy.[about god castiel]

Crowley: You seem even more constipated than usual.

Sam: I just remember I was with two guys. One was like a male model type and the other was an older guy named... Bobby.

Balthazar: Drinking your feelings Sam? I thought that was your brother's bag.
Sam: Stressful times.

Crowley: Your chocolate has been in my peanut butter for far too long.

Dean: Am I supposed to know who that is?
Bobby: Horror writer? At the Mountains of Madness? The Call of Cthulu?
Dean: Yeah, no. I was too busy having sex with women.

Crowley: Submit or die. What are you? French?

Bobby: But if we ain't, if there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here, that means we're dealing with a Superman here who's gone darkside. Which means we've got to be cautious, we've got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite.
Dean: [to Sam] This makes you Lois Lane.

Crowley: Don't worry? What, like Lucifer didn't worry? Or Michael? Or Lillith? Or Allistair? Or Azazel didn't worry? Am I the only game piece on the board who doesn't underestimate those nightmares!?
  
Castiel: C'mon, dry dung can only be stacked so high.

Dean: Well that's great, because without your power, you're basically just a baby in a trench coat.
  
Dean: You know what this means?
Bobby: Yea, I didn't get a "soulonoscpy" for nothing.
  
Dean: I think she turned me into a Jefferson Starship.

Dean: Really? You're going to use the "mother of the year" defense?
  
Bobby: You discovered it. You get to name it.
Dean: Jefferson Starships. Huh? Because they're horrible and hard to kill.

Dean: Well now it just looks like you're pooping.
  
Bobby: I asked for a computer.
Sam: It is a computer.
Bobby: A computer has buttons.

Dean: Cas, get out of my ass.
Castiel: I was never in your...
  
Dean: Marshal Eastwood. Clint, Eastwood. This here's Walker. He's a Texas Ranger.

Dean: I'll stay here. Hook up with the posse, cause you know me, I'm a posse magnet. I mean I love posse. Make that into a t-shirt.
Sam: You done?
  
Dean: Candy gram for Mongo!
  
Dean: Yippee ki yay, mother f-

Samuel Colt: When you've done this job as long as I have, a giant from the future with some magic brick doesn't exactly give you the vapors.
  
Dean: You know what that is?
Sam: Yeah, it's horse sh-
Dean: Authenticity.

Sam: You can recite every Clint Eastwood movie ever made. Line for line.
Bobby: Even the monkey movies?
Sam: Yeah, especially the monkey movies.
Dean: His name is Clyde.
  
Dean: We'll Star Trek 4 this bitch.
Bobby: I only watched Deep Space 9.
Dean: It's like I don't even know you guys anymore.
  
Bobby: Either of you jokers ever heard anything about a Phoenix?
Dean: River, Joaquin, or the giant flaming bird?
  
Balthazar: Sorry you have me confused with that other angel. You know the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you. I don't care.
  
Dean: Titanic didn't suck that bad. Winslet's rack?
  
Dean: Too soon?
Sam: Yeah, Dean, I'm pretty sure six seconds is too soon.

Sam: You totally Butterfly Effected history.
Dean: Dude. Dude. Rule 1: No Kutcher references.
   
Sam: So you save the cruise liner because...
Balthazar: Because that god-awful Celine Dion song made me want to smite myself.
  
Balthazar: I hated the movie.
Dean: What movie?
Balthazar: Exactly.
  
Dean: Accidents don't just happen accidentally. You know what I mean.

Bobby: You two gonna stand there like the ugly girl at the prom or are you going to pitch in?

Dean: Well, hey there, you little herpe.
Sam: Why do you keep talking about herpes?
Dean: What? I don't. Shut up. Shut up.

Rufus: We're here. Let's do this. Just like old times.
Bobby: Well, as long as I get to drive.
Rufus: Hell, no.
  
Rufus: I take it you know each other.
Dean: He's our grandfather.
Rufus: Somebody needs a hug.
  
Sam: So, now ah, what's the deal with all this TV crap?
Castiel: Pardon me?
Dean: Yeah, amen Padaleski.
Sam: Padalecki.,
Dean: What?
Sam: -Lecki, I'm pretty sure.

Dean: What kind of douchebag names a character after himself?
  
Genevieve: You've never even been to our house.
Dean: Well, now that I know there's an alpaca outback, I'm definitely coming back.
Genevieve: Well, alpacas are the greenest animal.
  
Dean: You married fake Ruby?
  
Sam: What am I? Dracula?
Dean: George Hamilton Dracula.

Sam: Wow. I must be the star of this thing.
  
Dean: Dude, we're not even in America.
   
Dean: Look at these male model sons of bitches. Nice "Blue Steel," Sam.
   
Misha Collins: You guys really punked me. I'm totally gonna tweet this one. "Hola mishamigos. J2 got me good. Really starting to feel like one of the guys."
  
Dean: Misha? Jensen? What's up with the names around here?
  
Sam: We landed in some dimension where you're called Jensen Ackles and I'm something called a Jared Padalecki.
Dean: So, what? Now you're Polish?
  
Dean: Dude, they put freakin make up on us. Those bastards.

Dean: I'm not wearing any makeup. Oh crap. I'm a painted whore.
  
Producer: Well, we can clean up, reset the window. Takes about 95 minutes, basically, so we have to blow off the scene where they sit on the Impala and talk about their feelings.
Bob Singer: Ha! Right. You answer the hate mail.
  
Dean: Hey, maybe we'll have a Snooki sighting.
Sam: What's a Snooki?
Dean: That's a good question.
  
Dean: We've been Parent Trapped.

Dean: So, what? We've got a bunch of killer dolls? Like Chucky?

Sam: Wait. That anatomy dummy you were molesting at the lab.
Dean: Excuse me?
Sam: What if that's what this is about?
Dean: What exactly are you accusing me of?

Dean: Be my valentine?
Sam: Dude, we're working. Put it back.
Dean: Have a heart.
   
Sam: So, Mel Gibson really took a turn this past year, huh?
Dean: Or he's possessed. Seriously. Think about it.

Dean: My Spidey senses are tingling.
  
Dean: One of Dad's rules? You never use the same crapper twice.
Sam: Everyone uses the same crapper twice.
Dean: Not us. You know what I mean.

Dean: What was that? I think she just cougar-eyed you.
  
Samuel: You think there are maybe calmer ways we could have done all that?
Sam: Do we care?
  
Dean: I'm sending death a damn fruit basket!
  
Dean: What was I suppose to do? Let T-1000 walk around and hope that he doesn't open fire?

Sam: What language is it in?
Bobby: Da Vinci Code.
  
Dean: You rocks think you're so smart.
  
Bobby: How's Memento doing over there?

Sam: What kind of thing likes virgins and gold?
Dean: P. Diddy?

Sam: Who would want virgins?
Dean: You've got me. I prefer ladies with experience.
  
Dean: I've decided. I'm going to give Stan my most precious gift.
Sam: Wow. That sounded really creepy coming out of your mouth.
  
Dean: Shawshank's a great flick, but let's skip the shower scene.
  
Crowley: Best purchase I made since Dick Cheney.
  
Castiel: I learned that from the pizza man.
  
Dean: Karma's a bitch, bitch.

Samuel: Is this what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?
Castiel: We're not supposed to talk about it.
   
Castiel: It's very complex. If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she has done something wrong.
Dean: Are you watching porn? Why?
Castiel: It was there.
Dean: You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes. And you don't talk about it. Just turn it off. Well now he's got a boner.
  
Dean: [to a demon] You gonna kiss me?
  
Dean: Until we get you back on your soul train, I'll be your conscience.
Sam: So you're saying you'll be my Jiminy Cricket.
Dean: Shut up. But yeah you fricken puppet, that's exactly what I'm saying.
  
Sam: Dean, did you service Oberon, King of the Fairies?

Dean: Nipples?

Sam: What about when there are no more leads for that? I mean are you just supposed to sit there in the dark and suffer, even when there's nothing that can be done at that moment?
Dean: Yes! You sit in the dark and you feel the loss.
Sam: Absolutely, but couldn't I just do all that and have sex with the hippie chick?
Dean: No!
  
Dean: They're after me!
Sam: Third kind, already? You better run, man. I think the fourth kind is the butt thing.
Dean: Empathy, Sam. Empathy!
  
Dean: You want to be a real boy Pinocchio; you've got to act the part.

Dean: You don't care. You have to care.
Sam: About what exactly?
Dean: About everything!
  
Dean: It's your gigantor body and maybe your brain, but it's not you. So just stop pretending.

Sam: Why shack up with a family? Is it a kinky thing? Do you like to play with your food? Roll over, Lucky. Speak.
Lucky: Go to hell.
Sam: Already been. Didn't agree with me.

Dean: Three skuzzy bars, one skuzzy strip club, a chilidog joint, seven or eight nightcaps, and now, scotches in the library. I'm getting sorosis just watching this.

Dean: Let me get dressed, Robo-Cop.
  
Crowley: Is that Bobby Singer? Give him a kiss for me.
  
Dean: I'm asking the questions here, Fright Night.

Dean: [to Samuel] So what's so important that you're the King of Hell's cabana boy? What did he offer you: girls, money, hair?
  
Dean: Who, whoa, whoa, wait? You two know each other?
Crowley: Not in the biblical sense, more of a business relationship I'd say.
Sam: [to Samuel] You're Crowley's bitch.

Dean: If the old man's Kermit, whose hand's up his ass?
  
Dean [to Samuel]: I've seen some stupid in my time, but you, you take the crown. Putting Jaws in a fish bowl? How do you think it's going to end?
  
Dean: I don't trust him. Dude's hiding something. I can feel it and if you weren't Robo-Sam, you'd feel it too.
  
Samuel: This Castiel? You're scrawnier than I pictured.
Castiel: This is a vessel. My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler Building.
Dean: All right, all right, quit bragging.

Woman: I'm sitting like this so you'll look at my breasts. I just bought them. I need a lot of attention.
Dean: Good luck with that.

Bobby: Did you know my first girl turned out to be a...
Dean: [hangs up] whoa, no.
  
Bobby: You know what else? I get a pedicure once in a while.
  
Dean: You know what I will have that other one [drink].
Bartender: I thought you were working?
Dean: I'm working up to it.
  
Castiel: It isn't the Horn of Truth.
Dean: What are you talking about? You were gone for like two seconds. Where did you look?
Castiel: Everywhere.
  
Dean: Are you kidding me? I have been on red alert about Sam and you come for some stupid horn?
Castiel: You asked me to be here and I came.
Dean: I've been asking you for days you d**k!

Bobby: There's a worse case scenario.
Dean: What? Saying he's my co-pilot? Yeah, I know.
Bobby: No, that'd be the other worst case.
Dean: Then what?
Bobby: Maybe it's just Sam.
  
Dean: These aren't vampires, man. These are douche bags.
  
Dean: I'm ok. I killed so many people on the way over here.
  
Dean: Newsflash Mr. Wizard: "vampires pee."
  
Dean: Are you wearing glitter?
Kid: I only do it to get laid, man.
Dean: Does it work?

Dean: You go with Efron. I've got Bieber.
  
Dean: Try uh, Lautner.
Sam: He's a werewolf. How do you even know who that is?
Dean: What are you kidding me? That kid is everywhere. It's a friggen nightmare.
  
Dean: Look at this. Watching her sleep, how is that not rape-y?

Bobby: Ok then, lets roll credits on this chick flick. You boys have a safe flight and uh, try some of the local grub. I hear it's exotic.
Dean: Oh yeah, no, definitely, we are. I hear they have an Olive Garden.

Sam: Dean, he's a d**k, but a deals a deal.
Crowley: I don't need you to fight my battles for me, moose. Get bent.
  
Bobby: You may be king of the dirt bags here, but in life, you were nothing but a two-bit tailor who sold his soul in exchange for an extra three inches below the belt.
Crowley: Just trying to hit double digits.
  
Crowley: I'll save you the recap. In fact I'll do the short hand for you. "I want my soul back idgit." 'Fraid not. "But I'm surly and I got a beard. Gimme." Blah, blah, blah. Homespun insult. Witty retort from yours truly. The bottom line is you get bubkis. Are we done?
  
Bobby: Sam, Dean, I love you like my own. I do. But sometimes...sometimes you two are the whiniest, most self absorbed, sons of bitches I ever met. I'm selfish? Me? I do everything for you. Everything! You need some lore scrounged up. You need your asses pulled out of the fire. You need someone to bitch to about each other. You call me and I come through. Every! Damn! Time! And what do I get for it? Jack with a side of squat!

Bobby: (after killing a monster) I thought your chipper was broke.
Marcy: I just said that to get you over here.
Bobby: Well, I guess I could come over for dinner some night. Might be fun.
Marcy: I don't think so
Bobby: Story of my life.
  
Bobby: Have you seen anything ... weird?
Marcy: You mean besides you?
  
Marcy: I love scary movies. Hey, have you seen "Drag me to Hell?"
Bobby: Trying to avoid it.

Sam: Were you racing me?
Dean: No, I was kicking your ass.
Sam: Very mature.

Dean: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.
  
Dean: Why are you buying human souls anyway?
Balthazar: In this economy? It's probably the only thing worth buying.
  
Dean: We can't actually drop it off at an orphanage. They might get upset when it turns Asian.
  
Sam: You've got a whole Dr. Huxtable vibe coming off you. You're like... father material.
  
Dean: I'll pay you money if you sit still. This is like diffusing an IED with poop.

Dean: Who designed this thing, NASA!
  
Sam: Huh.
Dean: Shut it.
Sam: I just said huh.
Dean: I just said shut it.
  
Lisa: Dean, no offense, but if you don't walk out that door, I'm gonna shoot you.
  
Sam: You just went. You didn't hesitate, because you care and that's who you are. Me, I wouldn't even think to try.
Dean: Yes you would
Sam: No Dean. I'm telling you. It's just better with you around.
  
Dean: Go ahead say it. Call me a soccer mom.

Sam: Golf? Really?
Dean: It's a ... it's a sport!

Dean: Of course I didn't leave it alone. Sue me!
  
Bobby: TV's broken, but there's plenty of Reader's Digest.
  
Dean: What, did you loose the ability to send a text message?

Dean: It's like chicks specifically dig unavailable guys

Chuck: Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass.
  
Dean: Hey. We need to talk.
Lucifer: Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.
  
Castiel: It's starting.
Dean: Yeah, you think, genius?
Castiel: You don't have to be mean.
Dean: So, what do we do now?
Castiel: I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol... just wait for the inevitable blast wave.
Dean: Yes, well, thank you, Blutarsky.
  
Lucifer: Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite.
Dean: Well, I'll alert the media.

Sam: Take care of these guys, okay?
Castiel: That's not possible.
Sam: Then humor me.
Castiel: Oh. i was supposed to lie. (chuckles) Uh... sure. They'll be fine, I...
Sam: Just - just stop... talking.

Dean: So this is Dr. Evil's lair, huh?

Dean: Well, I got to ask. How old are you?
Death: As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless - at the end, I'll reap him, too.
Dean: God? You'll reap God?
Death: Oh, yes. God will die, too, Dean.
  
Dean: So please tell us you have actual good news.
Bobby: Chicago's about to be wiped off the map. storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die.
Dean: Huh.
Castiel: I don't understand your definition of good news.
  
Dean: That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.
  
Castiel: You said "no" to Michael. I owe you an apology.
Dean: Cass. I-It's okay.
Castiel: You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.
Dean: Thank you. I appreciate that.
Castiel: You're welcome.
  
Bobby: World's gonna end, seems silly to get all precious over one little soul.
  
Bobby: Why'd you take a picture?
Crowley: Why'd you have to use tongue?

Crowley: Let's just say when they're all getting their Grammys, they shouldn't all be thanking God.

Bobby: Well then get the hell off my property before I pump you so full of rock salt you crap margaritas.
  
Sam: Why? Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now? Like I trusted Ruby? Or like I trusted Brady back at school?

Dean: Hey, hot stuff, watch the upholstery.
  
Dean: [wearing a surgical mask] Hey, I looked like the King of Pop.
Sam: [Rolls eyes]
Dean: Too soon? Too soon.

Gabriel: Lucifer... you are my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of d**ks.

Dean: We can either take on the Devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me. Literally.

Kali: I never took you for the type.
Gabriel: Romantic?
Kali: Pathetic.
  
Gabriel: But... me and Kali, we, uh... had a thing. Chick was all hands.

Dean: Where the hell are we?
Castiel: Van Nuys, California.
Dean: Where's the beautiful room
Castiel: In there.
Dean: The beautiful room is in an abandoned muffler factory in Van Nuys, California?
Castiel: Where'd you think it was.
Dean: I-I don't know. Jupiter. A blade of glass? Not Van Nuys.
  
Dean: Word to the wise. Don't piss off the nerd angels.
  
Zachariah: So you know you can't trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?
  
Sam: Just watch Adam.
Bobby: How? You may have noticed, he has a slight height advantage.
  
Dean: So, why don't you just tell us everything. Start from the beginning.
Adam: Well, I was dead and in Heaven... except it--it, uh, kind of looked like my prom. And I was making out with this girl. Her--her name was Kristin McGee.
Dean: Yeah, that sounds like Heaven. Did you get to third base?
Sam: Just, uh... just keep going.
  
Zachariah: All they care about upstairs, ain't it? Results, results, results. They don't know. They're not down on the ground, in the mud, nose to nose with all you pig-filthy humans. Am I right?
Stuart: Absolutely - filthy what?
Zachariah: I mean, whatever happened to personal loyalty? How long have I worked for these guys. Five millennia? Six?
Stuart: Seems like it, doesn't it.
Zachariah: Damn straight it does

Castiel: This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds. Book of Revelations call her the "Whore of Babylon."
Dean: Well, that's catchy.
  
Sam: What's wrong with you? Are you... drunk?
Castiel: No! Yes.
Sam: What the hell happened to you.
Castiel: I found a liquor store.
Sam: And?
Castiel: I drank it.
  
Dean: 'Course, that's if you can get past the velvet rope. Must be nice--being chosen.
Leah: Well, Dean... you're chosen.
Dean: More like cursed.
  
Sam: No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality.
  
Ash: See, you got to stop thinking of Heaven as one place. It's more like a buttload of places. All crammed together. Like Disneyland. Except without all the anti-Semitism.
  
Zachariah: Wow. Running from angels... on foot... in Heaven. With out-of-the-box thinking like that, I'm surprised you boys haven't stopped the Apocalypse already.
  
Sam: Heaven?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: Okay, how are we in Heaven?
Dean: All that clean living, I guess.
  
Dean: Go ahead, Roy. Do it. But I'm gonna warn you--when I come back, I'm gonna be pissed.
  
Dean: What are you, the Hamburglar?

Dean: Why does Heaven care if Harry meets Sally?

Sam: Unleash the Kraken. See you tomorrow morning.

Dean: Hey, when I want to drink, I drink. When I want sex, I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich or a fight.
Castiel: So... you're saying you're just well-adjusted?
Dean: God, no. I'm just well-fed.
  
Sam: Dean, enough!
Dean: What?
Sam: You just punched a Cupid!
Dean: I punched a d**k!
  
Cupid: Love is more than a word to me, you know? I love love, I love it! And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right!
Castiel: Yes, yes. of course. I, uh... I have no idea what you're saying.
  
Dean: Cherub?
Castiel: Yeah, they're all over the world. There are dozens of them.
Dean: You mean the little flying fat kids in diapers?
Castiel: They're not incontinent.
  
Dean: Where am I going?
Sam: Dean, it's Valentine Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it - uh, Unattached Drifter Christmas?
  
Castiel: This is their handshake.
Dean: I don't like it.
Castiel: No one likes it.

Dean: So, what? You're like a DeLorean without enough plutonium.
  
Dean: What do I look like-Dr. Angel, Medicine Woman?
  
Dean: Well... this is it.
Sam: This is what?
Dean: Team Free Will. One ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose over there. It's awesome.
Sam: It's not funny.
Dean: I'm not laughing.

Anna: I need you to kill some humans.
Uriel: Always happy to do some smiting.
  
Dean: What exactly are we gonna march up there and tell 'em?
Sam: Uh, the truth.
Dean: What, that their sons are back from the future to save them from an angel gone Terminator? Come on, those movies haven't even come out yet.
  
Dean: Really? Anna?
Castiel: It's true.
Dean: So she's gone all Glenn Close, huh? That's awesome.
Castiel: Who's Glenn Close?
Dean: No one. Just this psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits.
Sam: So, the... the plan to kill me--would it actually stop Satan?
Dean: No, Sam, come on.
Sam: Cass, what do you think? Does Anna have a point?
Castiel: No. She's a... "Glenn Close."
  
Sam: You still crazy?
Dean: Not any more than usual.
  
Dr. Cartwright: I'm Dr. Erica Cartwright. I've been assigned to your case.
Dean: You're my shrink? Well, lucky me.
Dr. Cartwright: And you're my paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis. Lucky me.
  
Sam: Okay, last words?
Dean: I think I'm good.
Sam: Yeah, me too.
Dean: Here goes nothing.

Dean: Okay, and why exactly would you want the Devil dead?
Crowley: It's called survival. But I forgot you two are at best functioning morons.
Dean: You're a functioning... morons... moron.
  
Sam: Oh, hey, Chuck, look. If you really want to publish more books, I guess that's okay with us.
Chuck: Wow. Really?
Sam: No, not really. We have guns and we will find you.

Becky: Look, Sam, I'm not going to lie. We had undeniable chemistry. But like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live.

Chuck: So what does the future hold for Sam and Dean? Well, uh, how do you feel about angels? Yeah. you know, because let me tell you, they're not nearly as lame as you think.
  
Dean: Well, you sure look lovely tonight. Especially for a dead chick.
Latisha Actress: Buddy, I have heard that line 17 times tonight, okay? And all from dudes wearing MacGyver jackets. But you seem different.
Dean: How so?
Latisha Actress: Well, you don't seem scared of women.
  
Con Manager: Welcome to the first annual Supernatural convention. Uh, at 3:45 in the Magnolia Room we have the panel "Frightened Little Boy to Secret Life of Dean." And at 4:30, there's the "Homoerotic Subtext of Supernatural." And of course, the big hunt starts at 7 p.m. sharp.
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my dreams turn to reality when i wake up and hope to dream again. the world is an upsidedown all aroun place, fixed with good and bad mingling, not quite against each other. definately a mutual dislike and sometimes they colide in more than one way. an angel can fall in love with a devil and a devil can fall in love with an angel.
this is more of just typing and writing anything that comes into my mind so...yeah!
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Devious Journal Entry by ekanas, journal

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Devious Journal Entry by ekanas, journal